A MODEST PROPOSAL or Blue Skies Thinking
A government think tank is drawing up proposals to ensure that anyone unemployed from April 1st will, when required be expected to pay an employer for work experience, the money to be deducted from their benefit and paid direct to the employer. It is envisaged that this scheme will eventually embrace the whole of the unemployed work force, whilst those with disability would also be expected to participate; special envelope licking machines are being constructed for those with more severe mobility problems.
The scheme has met with a great deal of enthusiasm from the CBI, IOD,* and several major employers, Only A Quid stores in particular are ready to be first off the block as the scheme comes into operation. Prince Charles too has commended the scheme and plans to use unemployed labour on his estates. Sir Roderick Purloiner, ex head of Shady Asset Management stated that this represented an excellent way to “get the idle working again and boost the economy at the same time.” Lord Cockerel, of ‘king of cheap chicken’ fame also plans to use such labour on his chicken farms, eventually hoping to supplant his existing labour force. He is understood to be constructing barracks to house these workers, as the majority of them are likely to come from the larger conurbations and he will also provide food, which he describes as a ‘highly nutritional chicken diet. For this he will be receiving the full amount of benefit formerly paid to the claimant. Accommodation will be single sex only to prevent distracting fraternisation.
Failure to comply will lead to the stopping of all benefits and the loss of any social housing provision.
A government spokesman has described the scheme as “tough love, hard but fair.”
*Confederation of British Industry, Institute of Directors.
The scheme has met with a great deal of enthusiasm from the CBI, IOD,* and several major employers, Only A Quid stores in particular are ready to be first off the block as the scheme comes into operation. Prince Charles too has commended the scheme and plans to use unemployed labour on his estates. Sir Roderick Purloiner, ex head of Shady Asset Management stated that this represented an excellent way to “get the idle working again and boost the economy at the same time.” Lord Cockerel, of ‘king of cheap chicken’ fame also plans to use such labour on his chicken farms, eventually hoping to supplant his existing labour force. He is understood to be constructing barracks to house these workers, as the majority of them are likely to come from the larger conurbations and he will also provide food, which he describes as a ‘highly nutritional chicken diet. For this he will be receiving the full amount of benefit formerly paid to the claimant. Accommodation will be single sex only to prevent distracting fraternisation.
Failure to comply will lead to the stopping of all benefits and the loss of any social housing provision.
A government spokesman has described the scheme as “tough love, hard but fair.”
*Confederation of British Industry, Institute of Directors.
