STALKING*
A great deal has been said about stalking recently, all, understandably, from the perspective of the victim. I am interested in the perspective of the perpetrator since it seems to me that if victims are to be better protected then we need to develop a greater understanding of the thought processes and psychological outlook of the stalker.
In my time working in mental health and addiction, I worked with several obsessive individuals and believe that I have some understanding of their worldview, that is how they perceive both themselves and their victims. So here are some of my reflections.
There have always been anti-social obsessives who can be categorised on a scale from relatively harmless to the psychopathic. Literature is full of examples and Hitchcock understood the type well. What has changed is modern means of communication and social media, which in the hands of an obsessive can be truly devastating.
The seeds of the obsessive stalker reside in all of us, we all find it difficult to let go of someone we love, yearn for reconciliation and find the autonomy of others sometimes difficult to handle. However, we have learnt to deal with such feelings and to recognise the independence of others. In time, we move on. Not so for a small minority who cannot and will not let go.
Firstly, it is essential to understand that stalkers can never see themselves as offenders/perpetrators but believe that it is they who are the real victims. Solipsistic, narcissistic and controlling to the extreme all pathological stalkers find rejection impossible to bear, - but even more intolerable than rejection is the idea of personal autonomy, that the objects of their obsession can exist not only independently of them but be free of any thoughts or feelings about them. It is this unbearable feeling of powerlessness that demands that this autonomy must be smashed. To achieve this objective, they must become ubiquitous in the life of the other person. At this point, aims and objectives are often confused blurred and interlaced with magic thinking. The desire for revenge becomes interwoven with the desire for a reassertion of control and even a reigniting of former feelings in the victim. The longer the obsession endures the more complex the driving emotions become and can eventually include the desire to obliterate the now hated other. Again it cannot be stressed strongly enough that all the while it is the stalker who sees himself as the real victim.
All that said what must be done to help the victims of this particularly vile and violent crime[1], a crime that can destroy a person’s peace of mind and wreck their life? Firstly, as I have stated above everyone can find letting go difficult, and in the grief following separation we might sometimes make a nuisance of ourselves. Likewise, we may have been on the receiving end of the attentions of someone who cannot handle being rejected or has difficulty in taking thanks, but no thanks for an answer. However, invariably we instinctively know where to draw a line, the stage when we are becoming obsessive or on the receiving end of obsessive attention. This instinct is sound and everyone on the receiving end of unwanted attention should heed it.
At this point I think what is required by law enforcement agencies is the establishment of a series of stages, that can be escalated when required.
A national police register allowing victims to log their concerns needs to be established. Names of victims and perpetrators should be recorded and the register checked to see if the perpetrator is known to the police. If they have not already been keeping a record of incidents complainants should now be strongly encouraged to do so. Assistance should also be provided with advice about protective measures such as CCTV, pepper spray, personal alarms etc. At this stage, stage one, the perpetrator would be interviewed by the police and a risk assessment completed.
The response to police intervention by the perpetrator will itself be a significant risk indicator. For most individuals confronted in this way, the response will be shock, some anger and embarrassment, allied to a degree of defensiveness and shame. Often this will be the end of the matter.
For the more pathological obsessive anger will be the primary response, along with outright denial and a questioning of the veracity of the victims account. There may also be fictitious alibis thrown in, - ‘she must have seen someone who looked like me, I was in Sheffield on that day.’ He[2] will remain reasonably calm and measured and be effusive with bemused/slightly amused cooperation. Shame or remorse will be noticeable by their absence.
For the psychopathic obsessive any intervention by the police is likely to intensify the desire for revenge, to subjugate, to take control. The more intense the feeling of humiliation at having been confronted and exposed the greater the risk of prompt ‘retaliation.’ This desire will be hidden under a calm, measured and cooperative manner, consequently, victims should always be informed and alerted that the perpetrator has been approached.
Further attempts at contact/intimidation after this point should trigger a red alert that the person is a serious stalker unlikely to be deterred by warnings. At this stage a full range of judicial tools needs to be available, including restraining orders – sought by the state, not the victim,[3] tagging and in severe cases, involving threats of physical violence, imprisonment. Stalking like GBH, any assault or murder is a crime against us all and should be dealt with in the same way. Just as we enjoy the right to walk the streets free from the fear of assault, we should also be free from the threat of the psychological violence of stalking.
Once at the stage of criminal proceedings the stalker can be at his most dangerous and manipulative, faking remorse, making promises to the court, being cooperative with the probation service, all the time planning revenge on the woman who continues to persecute him.
At this stage, the victim is at real personal risk of physical violence, up to and including rape and murder. It is essential that all services now work together, sharing information and coordinating their approach. The victim must at all times be kept informed about what is happening with their case and provided with an emergency strategy.
It is not my intention here to explore the range of sentencing options but I will reiterate that stalking should be treated in the same manner as GBH and that before sentencing full victim impact statements should be provided to the court to ensure that the scale and intent of the psychological damage can be perceived. For breaches of restraining orders and further harassment, long prison sentences need to be handed down.
TREATMENT
It would be nice at this point to state that ‘treatment’ should always be part of an offender’s sentence/bail requirement. It would be a nice sentence to write but I really don’t know if effective treatment exists, certainly what is often sold as treatment, - which always sounds so solid and scientific, - is often little more than confrontational groups and individual counselling. Some individuals will respond positively to such an approach but many will be resistant or merely jump through the hoops and fake changed attitudes. Such interventions must be seen only as part of a broad package aimed at deterrence/prevention and not as a ‘cure’ for such behaviour. The prognosis for a completely changed mindset being facilitated by this approach can only be described as poor.
There have always been obsessives who cannot handle rejection and there always will be. Modern communications, affluence, and increased amounts of free time have simply exacerbated the capacity to inflict serious psychological damage. In the face of increasing incidences of obsessive behaviour of this kind, we need as a starting point to develop a better understanding of perpetrators and a better set of tools to ensure that victims are protected and offenders caught and sentenced.
AT June 2016
*I am here talking about what might be termed physical stalking, i.e. the persecution of one person by another using a variety of methods, that can include, though is not restricted to, social media. Thus, I do not address the issue of abusive and vindictive ‘trolling,’ though this too can pose a serious threat to feelings of personal safety and sometimes a very real threat of being attacked.
[1] I believe that psychological torture of the kind inflicted by stalkers should be seen as the form of violence, that it clearly is.
[2] Throughout I am describing a male perpetrator and female victim since this is the form the offence usually takes. I am aware that women can also engage in psychopathic stalking of this kind but it is far rarer.
[3] This point is particularly important, for many women can find engaging in legal proceedings, such as taking out injunctions and restraining orders as a significant and stressful part of the experience of being stalked.
