LOST BOOKS OF THE BIBLE 1


THE BOOK OF REVERBERATIONS [1]

And it came to pass in the land of the Hystericites there dwelt a maker of things, a carpenter and layer of bricks by the name of Bobitus, known to all as Bobitus the builder. And God saw Bobitus and saw that Bobitus was a good and a pious man and a worshiper at the Temple of Hysteria, and thus seeing that Bobitus was a good man who observath the ways of the Lord, the Lord smote him most sorely on the forehead.

Bobitus was much perplexed and sayeth unto the Lord, “Oh Lord why doth thy smoteth me so?”

And the Lord God seeing that Bobitus was a good and pious man he smoteth him again and sayeth, “Bobitus would thou question the Lord thy God?”
And Bobitus was much afraid and fearful lest he be smote again and he sayeth, “No oh Lord, tell me what it is thy need of they faithful servant Bobitus, but please don’t smoteth me again.”

And the Lord God sayeth unto Bobitus go forth unto the land of the Ishmaelite, the Carmelite, the Stalagmite and the Crystallite and spread the word that the Lord God is much displeased with his people that there must be much rendering of cloth, beating of flesh, spilling of blood and very cold showers  to appease the Lord they God.”
So Bobitus set forth, leaving both family and friends who watched him depart with much weeping and wailing and the drinking of much wine.
Bobitus did travel for forty days and forty nights under the beating desert sun and under the cold desert moon until weary and broken of spirit he came upon the valley of the Nirvanites.

He saw that the people of the valley enjoyed harvests that were plentiful with surplus of both  grain and fruit, the wine was also plentiful and flowed freely and the people enjoyed much idleness and laughter; that man laid often with woman, and man laid with man and women with woman and they were much content with their nakedness.
Then speaketh Bobitus “Oh Lord my God what wilt thou have me preach to the people of Nirvana?” And the Lord instructed Bobitus that he must go hence amongst the people of Nirvana and spread discord; that nakedness was an abomination to the Lord, that it was a terrible sin for man to lie with man and women to lie with women; that idleness and want of labour is an offence in the eye of the lord, that he that lie in the sun and do not labour shall perish forever in the furnaces of hell.”

So it came to pass that Bobitus passed amongst the people of Nirvana and did sow great discord so that brother turned against brother and sister against sister, father against son and there was with all great rancour, and they did beat the man who lay with man and the women who lay with women and became sore ashamed of their nakedness.

And the Lord God was much pleased with Bobitus and sayeth, “Lo so it is now as it will be always for the Lord thy God is born of man and man is the servant of the Lord thy God. “


[1] This extract of  parchment was found in the desert close to the Dead Sea encased in a clay pot bearing the inscription in Aramaic ‘Do not open till the year of our Lord 2012.’
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