MARVELLOUS*

For all its attendant difficulties, frustrations and occasional crises, writing anything is, comparatively speaking, the easy part. Once finished the work must be read and you must then wait for the requested feedback, this is, not to put too fine a point on it, torture. The longer it takes to receive feedback, the gloomier the writer** becomes, dark thoughts begin to cloud the mind. It’s too long, it’s too short, it’s too serious, too flippant, too dark and gloomy, too light and frivolous, the permutations are endless all coalescing into a single solid reality, it is in fact no good.

By the time he comes to receive feedback the writer now will have reached such a state of nervous breakdown that to the question, well what do you think, only one word will do, marvellous.

“I thought it was marvellous!” No deviation from this interpretation should be made, e.g. “I thought the end was particularly good.

WHAT, you didn’t like the beginning?”
No, no the beginning was good.”
So you thought the middle section poor.

No the middle was fine, I thought the character of Peter was particularly well written.

So the other characters were poorly drawn.

No, no……………………………………..” You get the drift.

Thus the best response is to stick like a gramophone needle stuck in its groove, “I thought it was marvellous.”

And the next time the aspiring writer bears down on you requesting feedback……”I’d love to, after all your last piece was, well what can I say, marvellous, but I am just up to my neck, don’t have a minute to spare, thanks for the honour just the same.”


*Adapted from an original monolouge I heard by Alan Bennett.
** Could be of course that this form of neurosis is exclusive to my self.

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